The Berryhill family would like to present the upcoming feature film, My Fish Tank Sucks! A the zany tale of two exhausted parents and one sleep preventing fish tank.
Well that’s it…that’s my milliondollar idea. It’s no wonder my savings account is missing that extra zero or two. I just wish there was some way to benefit from this persistent problem of ours; the worlds most expensive fish tank that has mechanical seizers at least twice a week. Who knew bubbles could be so violent? This damn fish tank has been the cherry on my disastrous animal sundae for months. I mean, between the dogs, the crazy cat, the skunk, and the kids, a little fish tank malfunction shouldn’t be too hard to handle, right? Wrong.
When my husband and I first moved in together we agreed that a few fish would be a great way to start out our questionable love for animals and, well, just love in general. Playing it safe with fish is usually the first step to any new relationship…a litmus test of love and responsibility (note: I’m trying to make this sound more romantic than the whole situation actually was). In actuality, what fish lack is what makes them so appealing. They lack the fur to shed on your clothes, they lack the ability to pee on your couch, and they lack the vocal cords of their incessantly barking relatives. Throw in the fact that they taste delicious and look great for décor, and we have a winner!
As it turns out, the life of a fish owner is actually quite easy…and uneventful. Who am I kidding this is the world most boring pet. Perhaps we were ready for a new challenge? We had proven our fish ownership skills, so what next? My fish arrogance created some sort of domino effect…fish to cat, cat to dog, dog to dog, and dog to kid. In retrospect, if it weren’t for my fish, I would probably be on a tropical island basking in the sun!
If only my fish were as cute as my fury critters, I would be able to forgive them for being so boring. I swear, what fish lack in cuddlebility, they make up in telepathy. They can hear my thoughts and they react accordingly. Their telepathic vengeance occurs every now and then when the pump “breaks” at midnight. Beware of Nemo, folks. He is much more powerful than what meets the eye!!